जरा मुस्करादे

2008-09-03T13:38:00.003+05:30

2008-09-03T13:38:00.001+05:30

POOR MUSHARRAF, AFTER RESIGNING

2008-09-03T13:36:00.001+05:30

Above You

2008-08-02T13:49:00.000+05:30

Iraq

2008-08-02T13:40:00.000+05:30

2008-08-02T13:37:00.000+05:30

2008-08-02T13:35:00.000+05:30

Bhagwan ko Gussa?

2008-08-02T13:29:00.000+05:30

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
Jab kisi ladki ka rape hone ke baad uski ma bolti hai, "Hey Bhagwan yeh tune
kya kiya."

An interesting CV

2008-08-02T13:21:00.000+05:30

Name: Pakya Bhai Supariwala

Objective:
To obtain a challenging position as a Crime Implementation Analyst (CIA)
Education:
- B.S. (Crime Technology) Tihar Jail, India, August 1994 - M.S. (Criminal Sciences) Virginia Prison for International Smugglers and the Unlawful Activists(VPISUA) , August 1996.
Thesis:
'On escaping from high security prisons like Alcatraz with minimal efforts'
Coursework:
Cop Psychology, Plastic Explosives Technology, Bomb Controls and Timer Device Theory, International Smuggling and Drug Trafficking, Object Oriented Crime Design
Work Experience:
- Research Assistant, LTTE Labs, Jaffna, Aug 1990 - Aug 1991 - Worked on the prestigious Belt Bomb project - Developed instant death cyanide capsules in orange, strawberry; and mint flavors (Patent No. 007,13,666)
Summer Internship:
Dawood Ibrahim and Haji Mastan Associates, Bombay, June1987 - July1990 - Worked as a hitman and was responsible for many supari style killings - Participated in election rigging in Bihar and made hafta Collections
Honors and Achievements:
- Won 1980 Gabbar Singh Memorial Award (given to child prodigies in crime) - Member, IPKF (Indian Professional Killers Forum) student chapter - Performer of the year in 2004 General Elections in Bihar and U.P. - Strong hold on Govt. and NGOs. - Specialized in extortion, illegal construction business and fake academic degree supply.
References:
- Dr. Charles Sobhraj, Full Time Prof., Tihar Jail, New Delhi - Dr. Chandra Swamy, Visiting Faculty Tihar Jail, New Delhi - Dr. Dawood Ibrahim, Overseas Projects Manager, Dubai

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

2008-06-11T14:27:00.000+05:30

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether
any 're
-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that
.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,Banta

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

ENGLISH is not Easy

2008-05-31T11:48:00.002+05:30

Who says english is easy language ?
FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH YES/NO
1. ................... I don't have sense.

2. .................... I 'm stupid.

3. ...................... I don't have brain .

OSAMA OR LALU : WHO IS BETTER ???

2008-05-31T11:41:00.004+05:30

Smallest elephant in the world

2008-05-31T11:24:00.001+05:30

5 year old Elephent in a Thailand forest is the world's smallest elephant
according to the Guinnes Book Of world records.

biwi ka antim sanskar

2008-05-27T13:31:00.002+05:30

koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai
How do you fit 30 marwadis in a Maruti 800 ?Throw a 100 rupee note inside

कन्या दिलवाइये

2008-05-20T12:46:00.003+05:30

एक हिप्पी कट भक्त , भगवान के सामने अड़ा रहा ।
जब तक भगवान प्रसन्न नही हुये , एक टांग पे खडा रहा ।
भगवन प्रसन्न हुये बोले , बालक वर मांगो ।
वो घबराया,फ़िर जोर से चिल्लाया ।
भगवन मेरे इन लम्बे बालो को देख , धोखा मत खाइये ।
वर तो मै खुद हूँ , कोई कन्या दिलवाइये ।

सजा हुआ गधा

2008-05-20T12:33:00.002+05:30

एक गधे को-सजा हुआ देखकर हमने उसके बाप से पूछा- क्यों महाशय!

चेहरा बडा प्रस्न्न नजर आ रहा हॆ लेकिन-एक बात तो बताइये इस गधे को घोडे की तरह क्यों सजाया जा रहा हॆ ।

वो मुस्कराकर बोले-आप नहीं समझेंगे, दर असल बात यह हॆ कि-

एक घोडी का बाप आज मेरे बेटे को देखने आ रहा हॆ.

दियें का तेल

2008-05-20T12:29:00.000+05:30

वो आए मेरी कब्र पर, दिया बुझा के चल दिए।
दिये में जितना तेल था, सर पे लगा के चल दिए।।

पहलवान की सुहागरात

2008-05-20T12:26:00.001+05:30

लीजिए अब सुनिए एक पहलवान की सुहागरात का हाल:
एक पहलवान का होने वाला था विवाह , उसके दोस्तों ने दी उसे एक सलाह
लड़की से जरा कोमल बात करना , भावुकता भरे शब्दों की बरसात करना।
प्रथम रात्रि में पहलवान ने मुगदर घुमाया , पलंग का बाईसवां चक्कर लगाया ,
और बहुत सोच समझकर बोला"पंजा लड़ायेगी"।

कुछ जीत लिखुं या हार लिखुं

2008-05-20T12:13:00.003+05:30

कुछ जीत लिखुं या हार लिखुं , या दिल का सारा प्यार लिखुं
कुछ अपनो के जज्बात लिखुं या सपनों की सौगात लिखुं ..
मै खिलता सूरज आज लिखुं या चेहरा चाँद गुलाब लिखुं ..
वो डूबते सूरज को देखूँ या उगते फूल की सांस लिखुं ..
वो पल मे बीते साल लिखुं या सदिंयॊ लम्बी रात लिखुं ..
सागर सा गहरा हो जाऊं या अंबर का विस्तार लिखुं ..
मै तुमको अपने पास लिखुं या दूरी का ऐहसास लिखुं ..
वो पहली - पहली प्यास लिखुं या निश्छल पहला प्यार लिखुं ..
सावन कि बारिश मेँ भीगूँ या मैं आँखो की बरसात लिखुं ..
कुछ जीत लिखुं या हार लिखुं ..या दिल का सारा प्यार लिखुं ..

वो आँख बड़ी प्यारी थी,

2008-05-20T12:07:00.002+05:30

वो आँख बड़ी प्यारी थी,जो हमने उसे मारी थी,
वो सेंडले बड़ी भारी थी,जो उसने हमे मारी थी,
मुफ्त में ही पिट गए यार,हमें तो आँख की बीमारी थी.
सोच समझ के ना की शादी जिसने,उसने जीवन बिगाड़ लिया..
और चतुराई से की जिसने शादी,उसने भी क्या उखाड़ लिया..

कितनी सुन्दर ?

2008-05-20T11:59:00.002+05:30

छुप गया बदली में जा के,
चाँद भी शरमां गया ।
छुप गया बदली में जा के,
चाँद भी शरमां गया ।
भूत ने जब तुमको देखा,
भूत भी घबरा गया ।

तुम इतना क्यों मुस्करा रहे हों?

2008-05-20T11:32:00.002+05:30

दो प्रेमी किसी गार्डन में बैठे थे। प्रेमी जब भी बोलता प्रेमिका हँस कर मुँह घुमा लेती। प्रेमी ने सोचा कि शायद प्रेमिका उसकी बातो से बोर हो रही है इस लिये उसने धोड़ा रोमांश लाने कि कोशिस कि ओर एक फ़िल्मी गीत गाना शुरु कर दिया ।
" तुम इतना क्यो मुस्करा रहें हो ? तुम इतना क्यो मुस्करा रहे हो ? क्या गम है जिसको छुपा रहे हो " ?
प्रेमिका ने गाते हुए जबाब दिया : " जनाब आप सांसो कि बदबू क्यो फ़ैला रहे हो ? क्यों मुझ को इतना डरा रहे हो ?

essay

2008-05-17T17:01:00.002+05:30

Santa par ek essay :Santa ek vichitra prani hota hain.ye gurudware ke aas paas paye jate hain. Inke sir par ek yantra laga hota hain jo roz 12 baze bajta hain. Inka mukhya ahaar "langar" hota hain.Iske sare shareer par baal hote hain. ye punjab ke jungalo me paye jate hain. Isko gurupurab wale din badi matra me dekha ja sakta hain. ye chutkule banane ke kam aate hain. ye bada ho kar driver banne ke kam aate hain.

Shole

2008-05-17T17:01:00.001+05:30

Santa watching "Shole" in cinema hall: Veeru: "basanti in kutto ke aage mat naachna!"Santaji was sitting with his dog in the theater, says: "saali naachegi kaise nahin, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hain..."

जिम्मेदार

2008-05-17T16:59:00.001+05:30

साक्षात्कारकर्ता, आवेदक से - ''इस पद के लिये हमें ऐसा व्यक्ति चाहिये जो जिम्मेदार हो ।'' आवेदक - ''मैं इस पद के लिये बिलकुल योग्य हूं क्योंकि मेरी पिछली नौकरी के दौरान जब भी कुछ नुकसान होता था तो वे कहते थे कि इसके लिये मैं जिम्मेदार हूं।

Sardar Terrorist

2008-05-17T16:55:00.001+05:30

There were two Sardarjis Bantya and Santya as bombers. Theyhad to place a time bomb in order to explode a building. Sothey were going on their destination in a car. On their wayBantya asked Santya, "Santya what will happen if the timebomb explodes in this car itself." Santya replied"Don't worry, I have a spare one!!!!!

Common Between

2008-05-17T16:47:00.001+05:30

Q.) What is Common Between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus...?A.) Sardarji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays

Wada Na Karo Agar Tum Nibha Na Sako,Chaho Na Usko Jise Tum Pa Na Sako,Dost To Duniya Me Bahot Hote Hai,Par Ek Khas Rakho Jiske Bina Tum Muskura Na Sako......

आतंकवाद और आतंकवादी

2008-05-14T14:48:00.000+05:30

जयपुर की घटना दिल दहला गई । न्यूज देख कर मन बहुत उदास हुआ , फ़िर दिमाग अलग-२ सवाल करने लगा कि क्या ये न्यूज उन आतंकवादीओ तक पहुँच पा रही होगीं ? क्या वो इसे देख रहे होगें ? जब हमारा मन विचलित हो रहा है तो क्या उनका भी दिल कुछ बोल रहा होगा ? साथ में जबाव भी मिल गया कि बिलकुल ये खबर वो जरूर देख रहे होगें, बल्कि वो अपने क्र्त्य पर खुशियां मना रहे होगें ।
आखिर समाज में ये आतंकवादी कँहा से आ जाते है ? जो लोगो का सब कुछ लूट लेते है। बच्चो को अनाथ बना देते है, पिता से उसका सहारा छीन लेते है, औरतो को विधवा बना देते है । पता नही कितने ही रिस्तॊ का वो खून कर देते है । ये खून की होली खेलने वाले लोग आखिर पनपते कैसे है ? आखिर इस फ़सल को कौन पानी देता है ?
इस सवाल का जबाब है , शायद समाज !
हर आदमी जन्म से आतंकवादी नही होता , समाज ही उसकॊ पैदा करता है ओर समाज ही उसको सींचता है। और जब उनकी फ़सल कटती है तो हमें मुम्बई, उत्तरप्रदेश ,दिल्ली, ओर जयपुर जैसे हादसो का सामना करना पड़ता है ।
माना पड़ौसी देश इसको शह देता है , लेकिन हम भी तो उसको पनपने का मौका देते है , क्यों नही सरकारे उन इलाको में , जहाँ आतंकवाद का जोर सबसे ज्यादा है , लोगो को रोजगार के अवसर उपलब्ध करा रही ? उनकी माली हालत सुधारने के लिये सरकार क्या कर रही है ? क्यों उनको ऎसा अहसास होने दिया जा रहा है कि वो इस देश से कटे हुए है ? कही न कही पोलिटिक्स ओर ब्यूरोक्रेशी ने ही देश का ये हाल कर दिया है ।
आज देश धर्म , श्रेत्र ,भाषा, जात-पात , आदि के नाम पर बंटा हुआ है , ओर उसको हमारी पोलिटिक्स हवा देती है । ब्यूरोक्रेशी हमारी इतनी भ्रष्ट है कि वो सही आदमी तक उसका हक पहुचने नही देती । दुश्मन देशो को ओर क्या चाहिये , उनको मौका मिलता है हमारे युवाओ को बर्गलाने का , समाज से गुस्साये इन लोगो का बड़ी आसानी के साथ ब्रेन-वाश कर दिया जाता है । ओर ये लोग अपने ही भाईओ के दुश्मन बन बैठ्ते है ।
अगर आप पीछे मुड़ कर देखे तो इन घटनाओं के लिये जिम्मेंदार वो लोग जो इसका प्लान बनाते है या कहें मास्टर माइंड होते है ,शायद ही पकड़ में आते है । पकड़ में आते है वो लोग जिनकों कुछ पैसा दे कर , धर्म, श्रेत्र, जात-पात के नाम पर आतंकवादी बनाया जाता है । उनको ज्यादा से ज्यादा आतंक फ़ैलाने के लिये छोड़ दिया जाता है ।
कुछ लोग ये पढ कर बोलगें " फ़िर सुबह होगी " । लेकिन मै कहता हूँ , पता नही कब सुबह होगी ?
लेकिन मै आशावादी हूँ , और मानता हूँ , जिस दिन हमारे देश की पाँलिटीक्ल पार्टियाँ ओर ब्यूरोक्रेशी देश के बारे में सोचनें लगेगीं, उस दिन जरूर सुबह होगी ।

Boy & Girl

2008-05-09T14:45:00.000+05:30

Boy & Girl in restaurant
Boy :- I Love u
Girl :- I don't Love u
Boy :- Think again ?
Girl :- I told u. No no & no
Boy :- Waiter, bring separate bills.

Girl :- ok ok....... I Love u too......... . !

This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a Marketing guy(X):

2008-05-09T14:03:00.000+05:30

X: Which shaving cream do you use?
Y: Baba's
X: Which aftershave do you use?
Y: Baba's
X: Which deodorant do you use?
Y: Baba's
X: Which toothpaste do you use?
Y: Baba's
X: Which shampoo do you use?
Y: Baba's
X: Which socks do you use?
Y: Baba's
X (Frustrated) : Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company??? ... ... ..............
......
.......
.......
........

Y: No, He is my roommate

2008-05-09T13:47:00.001+05:30

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

A Teacher lecturing on population: "In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. " A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "

A man: " Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?" Sardarji : ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words. And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what... To avoid side effects!!!

Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".

Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya , Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me. I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"

A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). " The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!

Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?

A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... .

Santa Singh MBBS After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice. He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

It can happen only in Indian Movies

2008-05-09T13:30:00.000+05:30

Baghban : Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?) . They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September!

Lagaan : Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie.

Amar Akbar Anthony : Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person.

Awwal Number: Dev Anand is an omnipotent genius -- former cricketer,captain, army chief, commissioner, you name it. And Aamir Khan carries a huge transistor in his pocket while batting!

Khalnayak : The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! something that office team will be interested in)

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha : Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi : Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Well, well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways. Since when did they start flying international?

Raja Hindustani : Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience!

Raja : Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!

Guddu : Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!

Tere Mere Sapne : Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest !

How to ask your boss for a salary increase

2008-05-09T13:20:00.000+05:30

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
$teven

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if South Africa may go into aNOther recession.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly, Manager
NOrman

Test for Idiocy

2008-05-09T13:01:00.000+05:30

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!!

First Question:

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000 . Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round:
I may have sent this one before. I! 'm never sure.

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

PASS TH IS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!

If u want promotion...............

2008-05-09T12:41:00.000+05:30

Hi Boss,
People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes
People who do less work... make less mistakes
People who do no work... make no mistakes
People who make no mistakes... gets promoted
That's why I spend most of my time sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.

THAT MAKES SENSE

2008-05-09T12:28:00.000+05:30

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is likeexpecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside
. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes
that her daughter will marry a better man than she didand is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.They said
, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are eitherillegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal NehruWe should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

बिहारी ओर सिगरेट

2008-05-09T12:12:00.000+05:30

A Bihari went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills: Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the name of Will, it is Wills, but the Bihari insisted and said I want one Will, so the person told him unless you say it correctly. i.e Wills I won't sell it to you, so the Bihari went mad and said "Hum ek hi to maang rahen hain pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain".

ज्यादा काबिल कौन ?

2008-05-09T12:02:00.000+05:30

मनु,"डेडी, ज्यादा काबिल कौन है मैं या आप?"
डैडी, " मै, क्योकि मैं एक तो तुम्हारा बाप हुँ, दुसरे उम्र मे भी तुम से बडा हुँ और मेरा तजुर्बा भी तुम से ज्यादा है।"
मनु, "फ़िर तो आप जानते होगें कि अमेरिका की खोज किस ने की थी? "
डैडी, "कोलम्बस ने की थी"
मनु, "कोलम्बस के बाप ने क्यों नही की, उसका तजुर्बा तो कोलम्बस से कही ज्यादा होगा ?"

Sardar Da Chiken

2008-05-09T11:18:00.000+05:30

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order,
Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai?
Waiter:Woh langra tha.
Surdar: Dil?
Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee.
Surdar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha

Sardar

2008-05-09T11:06:00.000+05:30

Sardar : I hav'nt slept all night in the train.
Friend : why?
Sardar : Got upper berth.
Friend : why didn't you exchange?
Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

हँसी के पल

2008-05-08T14:28:00.000+05:30

आज का इन्सांन लगता है हसँना भूल चुका है, इसमें उसका कोई दोष भी नही है , क्योकि समय कि चक्की के आगें वो इतना पिस चुका है कि उसके पास हँसने के लिये समय ही नही है। आज आदमी की लालसा उसे उतना मौका ही नही देती कि वो हँसने के लिये थोड़ा वक्त निकाल ले। बस एक चीज आज थोड़ा ज्यादा बड़ गई है वो है भागम- भाग । ओर इसी भागम-भाग के बीच हमे थोड़ा वक्त मिला है कि हम लोगो को थोड़ा हँसा सके ।
धन्यवाद